For many people, home is their refuge. Home is where they retreat after work, and it\u2019s where they relax before heading out for a night on the town or running the kids to their next extracurricular activity. But for some, their home is the last place they want to be due to the stress that\u2019s inherently entwined with their family relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your family is supposed to be a source of unconditional love and support throughout your life, from your childhood through your last days. Even in the closest of families, however, the ebb and flow of stress and family relationships can damage the foundation of love and support your family is supposed to provide and embody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Quality time is always something to look forward to, but it can be tough to come up with new and interesting activities whenever you have an upcoming family day. Worry no more! With Adventures From Scratch: Family Edition<\/a><\/em>, you can leave the planning to us. This interactive book is packed with 50+ ideas, and each is hidden until you’re ready to scratch the surface. Find your next adventure!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The relationships you have with your family members can have a positive or negative influence on various facets of your life. Strong familial relationships can be a life-supporting force that can support your overall mental health and physical well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Positive relationships are like a collective well of support and understanding you can draw from when you\u2019re stressed out for reasons that either stem from inside or outside your home. When your family relationships are strong, they foster a sense of unconditional belonging that you might not find in other aspects of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When your familial relationships are unhealthy and fraught with stressors, they can increase the stress that\u2019s already infused into those relationships. Stress-filled relationships can also increase conflict between loved ones, which will just create more worry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Research shows that the health and well-being of 10 \u2013 30 percent of adolescents raised in homes with unhealthy familial relationships are at-risk. Studies also indicate that kids raised in dysfunctional households experience a greater risk for depression, anxiety, and poor self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The effects of stress on adults can be equally devasting or perhaps even more so. Research strongly suggests that people who deal with stressful familial relationships from childhood experience a greater lifetime risk for the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n A lot of things can cause stress between loved ones, but some issues are more common than others. Here are some of the issues that may infuse stress into the relationships you share with your family members:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before you can deal with familial stress, you have to identify the cause(s) of the toxicity that might be rampant within your family. Many factors can drive dysfunctional family dynamics, and some of them can be hard to spot. While that\u2019s true, identifying what those factors are is the first step toward addressing them and reducing your family\u2019s stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With your family having known you for your whole life, your relatives probably have a rich supply of unfortunate experiences they can draw from to criticize you. While some of those instances may be laughable now, even happenings that are no longer considered so bad can be weaponized by a relative who uses them to hurt you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Critical comments launched in your direction, no matter how seemingly humorous, can hit you as hard as a physical punch. Sometimes, they can hit even harder and more painfully than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just like the words used to make critical comments can wound you, so can silence. Although it\u2019s perfectly acceptable for a person to seek out some alone time after an argument, it\u2019s not okay for that individual to give you the silent treatment for hours or days after a disagreement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Toxic people use silence as a form of punishment and a means of control. These individuals feel as if their power over another person has increased when that loved one pursues them to reestablishment communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even if a loved one\u2019s lie doesn\u2019t affect you, it can still create an atmosphere of distrust, as the untruth may cause you to question what else your relative is lying about. Broad-based denials like \u201cwe don\u2019t judge others in this house\u201d can also infuse mistrust into your family environment, especially when there\u2019s plenty of evidence that contradicts the denial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stressful experiences often result when a relative uses generalizations in disagreements because it\u2019s very hard to argue a general statement compared to defending against a specific one. For example, if a loved tells you that you chew with your mouth open, you can stop that specific behavior. If that same relative tells you he doesn\u2019t like the way you eat, you wouldn\u2019t know where to start changing your behavior or how to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s common for toxic relatives to sow conflict among others. A toxic parent may foster feelings of jealousy and resentment by asking her youngest son why he can\u2019t be more like his older sibling. Alternatively, she may share the negative comment another person made about her son with her child, which may make the young man bitter toward the initial speaker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When a relative changes the subject of a conversation to deflect attention away from themselves and onto you, it\u2019s a clear sign of dysfunction. An example of this type of maneuver would be for your alcoholic husband to condemn you for being flirty at the restaurant even if you weren\u2019t simply to deflect attention away from his continued drinking<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever tried to explain why or how you feel bad about something only to have a family member make you feel guilty for having those feelings? If so, you know how painful it can be for a relative to trivialize the stressful times or worrisome experiences you\u2019ve undergone. People who engage in this type of behavior may turn on the crocodile tears, chastise you with righteous anger, or advise you to \u201cjust let it go already.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Abuse can take many forms, and none of them are acceptable. A toxic person might isolate you from your friends so they have more control over you and you have fewer people to confide in, for example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dysfunctional individuals may try to intimidate you with threats, expletives, or the threat of physical violence. The removal of emotional support or putting conditions on its availability, and actually laying hands on another person with the intent to hurt them are additional forms of abuse that can lead to stressful experiences that are painful to work through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The term gaslighting is taken from the legendary Ingrid Bergman film entitled \u201cGaslight.\u201d Gaslighting refers to a kind of emotional mistreatment involving a person causing another individual to question their reality and experiences. Someone telling you that your family life as a child wasn\u2019t as bad as you describe it is a form of gaslighting. A relative denying that something you personally experienced happened is another example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Family issues can arise very quickly when people don\u2019t respect each other\u2019s boundaries. Healthy relationships require participants to set boundaries. Many people think you\u2019re drawing a line in the sand for someone else when you\u2019re setting a boundary, but that\u2019s not the case. When you set a boundary, you\u2019re setting a limit for yourself. If someone ignores your personal limit, they should know that you\u2019ll take steps to protect and reinstate your boundary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n An example of a boundary would be a father telling his children he will not tolerate them using expletives when they speak to him. If the kids ignore the boundary, the remedy might be as simple as the dad excusing himself from the conversation prematurely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When relatives cross boundaries, it can create stress, especially if they do so knowingly and repeatedly. One of the most effective things you can do to avoid the stress that often stems from breached boundaries is to communicate your limits to your loved ones clearly and firmly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being able to recognize toxic familial behaviors is extremely important. If you can\u2019t recognize them, you can\u2019t address them. When these behaviors are allowed to continue, they can act as risk factors that make it more likely that you\u2019ll perpetuate the cycle of mistreating loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being exposed to the behaviors discussed above often decreases a person\u2019s ability to recognize them in others because they\u2019ve been viewed as the accepted norm for so long. The results of being unable to recognize others\u2019 toxic behaviors may increase the likelihood that you\u2019ll end up with a partner who\u2019s not good for your physical, emotional, or psychological well-being. The consequences of that may include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although there is no magic potion you can use to instantly turn your relationships around and eliminate familial discord, you can make things better with a little hard work and an investment of time. While recognizing toxic behaviors is the first step toward healthier, happier relationships, it\u2019s just that\u2014the first step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How family members communicate with each other can have a big influence on the quality of the relationships they share. Demonstrate the habits you want your loved ones to mimic, such as active listening, refraining from interrupting, and avoiding negative nonverbal cues like rolling your eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During family meetings and one-on-one get-togethers with your kids, ask them leading questions that require more than a one-word answer. Choose questions they\u2019ll be comfortable and willing to discuss and don\u2019t betray their confidence by announcing what they shared to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Different things cause some people to stress out without causing others to do the same. To avoid conflict and reduce or eliminate stress within your family, you need to familiarize yourself with your personal stressors as well as your relatives\u2019 triggers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you know your own stressors, you can do simple things like focusing on something else instead of what\u2019s irking you. By knowing your relatives\u2019 triggers, you can avoid behaviors that might set them off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your daughter can\u2019t stand it when you refer to her using a nickname she\u2019s outgrown, you can refrain from upsetting her by calling her by the name she prefers. Does your husband get visibly frustrated when you adjust the rearview mirror in his automobile? You can avoid using his car or you can return the mirror to its original position before you exit his vehicle to avoid stressing him out or causing an argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just like your kids may outgrow nicknames and clothes, you may outgrow behaviors your family is used to. If you go to a family reunion, your extended family might be surprised when you refuse a beer when you\u2019ve always been the life of the party in years gone by. Although it\u2019s tempting to step back into the roles people expect you to fill, you should resist, especially if the expected behavior is not reflective of the person you\u2019ve evolved into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you engage in behavior or adopt a faux persona just to make your relatives comfortable, you\u2019re exhibiting people-pleasing tendencies that aren\u2019t healthy. Your relatives should never expect or pressure you to be anything other than who you are in the moment. Although that\u2019s true, you may need to give them time to accept the new and improved version of yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can smooth over some family issues by spending quality time doing things that your family will genuinely enjoy. As you do more activities together, it can greatly improve your family life because your relatives will learn how to communicate with each other better, and they\u2019ll be more aware of everyone\u2019s strengths, weaknesses, interests, commonalities, differences, triggers, and stress responses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Adventures From Scratch: Family Edition<\/a><\/em> is filled with fun activities that are meant to bring families even closer together. This book is a collection of scratch-off adventures that will require you and your partner to work with your kids to complete. Each challenge can be done at home or on the fly during a family vacation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your immediate family consists of just you and your significant other, you may want to bypass the family adventure book in favor of the Adventures From Scratch: Date Edition<\/a><\/em>. This book includes 50+ adventures that couples can do together as the bonds between them grow deeper. Whether you\u2019re planning a date night or an evening of romance, you\u2019ll find an adventure to set the desired mood in our couple\u2019s adventure book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What are some other things you can do with your family? Depending on your family\u2019s interests, you may want to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Practicing mindfulness is all about being in the moment with yourself, the others around you, and your environment. By practicing mindfulness, you\u2019ll demonstrate that you\u2019re fully present when you interact with your family. That will show your loved ones that you prioritize the moments you share with them and value whatever is said and done during that time. This awareness can make all the difference in your parent-child relationships as well as the relationships you share with other adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mindfulness is one of those stress management tools that often takes time to master, particularly if you\u2019re a serial multi-tasker. Although it may take time, the key to becoming a mindfulness pro is simply to get started. You can begin your journey by practicing some basic breathing exercises that will train you to focus on your breath exclusively. From there, you can learn some other skills, such as yoga and meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are plenty of apps that can help you develop some healthy mindfulness practices. Here are some of the apps you might want to try out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being mindful can help reduce or even eliminate your parenting stress. Things work in reverse too, as you suffering from less parenting stress can make it easier for you to be mindful. The more you practice mindfulness, the more likely it will become that you\u2019ll react to stressful times with a steady calmness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The benefits of mindfulness aren\u2019t limited to adults. To help your kids develop healthier and calmer stress responses, you may want to introduce them to mindfulness at a young age. Apps like Mindful Powers and Smiling Mind are great to use with kids during their early child development years and beyond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you see other families, you may wonder how they\u2019re so perfect while you struggle with your relatives. The truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect family despite appearances. No matter how wonderful things seem for others as you look at posts on social media, every family experiences trying times on occasion at least, with some being better at hiding those instances than others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With everyone struggling with family problems at least once in a while, the odds are good that you won\u2019t have to look for social support for long. Whether you confide in a trusted friend, you hook up with some empathetic soccer moms, or you join an organized support group, it\u2019s important that you have a support network you can turn to for help, advice, and support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you simply can\u2019t bring yourself to discuss your familial issues face-to-face, find some family-oriented forums. When you sign up for a forum, you can join the ongoing discussions anonymously or you can start a new thread using a username that gives no clues about your identity. Reddit, Talk About Marriage, and Step Talk, are some of the online forums biological and stepparents may want to check out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether you live in New York or another state or country, you\u2019ll find that a lot of things are beyond your control. Traffic is a good example of something you can\u2019t control even if you work for the Department of Transportation. Like you can\u2019t control traffic, you can\u2019t control what your relatives are going to do. Will your aunt ask you when you\u2019re going to get married for the 500th<\/sup> time during Thanksgiving dinner? You can\u2019t control her so don\u2019t worry about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rather than fretting over things beyond your control, focus on the things you can control. Your behavior and words are things within your control, so pay careful attention to them. Make sure you act and speak deliberately and rationally so you set a good example for your family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t waste your time mulling over what-if scenarios when all you can do is wait for a situation to play out. Have you been assigned caregiving duties for an older parent who\u2019s hospitalized? While you can\u2019t perform your father\u2019s upcoming surgery, you can control the flow of information between relatives to ensure younger kids only know the tidbits they\u2019re old enough to process without incurring stress that may spill over into their interactions with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No matter how hard you try, you can\u2019t help the way you feel about something. It\u2019s okay if you feel angry, sad, or stressed when something happens. There are no right or wrong feelings, and your initial feelings may shift as time passes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No matter how something makes you feel, you need to own your feelings even if you think they\u2019re inappropriate. Owning your feelings will help you be more compassionate and forgiving towards yourself, which is very important. If it helps, talk to yourself like you\u2019d console a friend by saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re feeling blue, what can I do to put a smile on your face?\u201d You may be surprised how kind statements like that can silence your critical inner voice so you can give yourself a break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While you don\u2019t have to agree with how others feel, you do need to accept their emotions. If your child tells you she\u2019s upset about her spilled milk, you need to accept that and help her work through her feelings. Simply pouring your daughter a second glass of milk isn\u2019t enough. You need to accept and support her emotional turmoil with judging or \u201ccorrecting\u201d it, so she can work through it and move on with her day in a healthy manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a widely accepted fact that people who get adequate sleep every night experience less stress. They\u2019re also generally happier and better able to manage their anger. The benefits of sufficient sleep can obviously help you improve your family relationships and how you manage them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your partner or kids seem more stressed or grumpy than usual, ask them if they\u2019re getting enough sleep. Even if they say they are sleeping enough, consider monitoring their sleep habits to make sure. If they aren\u2019t recording enough Z\u2019s overnight, take a look at their schedules to see if certain activities or responsibilities can be eliminated so they have more time to rest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When things seem like they\u2019re too far gone, you may want to seek help from a health professional. If talking to your primary care physician gets you nowhere, consider working with a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. You can undergo psychiatry or counseling on your own, with your partner, or you can get your whole family involved so you can all improve your shared family relationships and manage the stress associated with them better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stress that concerns one or more family members, or affects the family as a whole, is considered family-related stress. In addition to individual mood, well-being, stress can impact family relationships<\/a>.<\/p> <\/div> Stress impacts family relationships<\/a>, as well as individual members of the family unit. There are several causes, including health issues, conflict, holidays, relocation, financial problems, and death.<\/p> <\/div> Since stress can affect family relationships<\/a> and individuals’ well-being, it’s important to deal with it quickly. Communicate, offer support, and spend quality time with family members<\/a>.<\/p> <\/div> <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Even the closest of families hit rough patches, especially when outside factors cause strain. Find out how to deal with stress and family relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":7612,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[260],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n\n\n\nConsequences of Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships with Family Members<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Common Causes of Stressful Familial Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Shining the Spotlight on Dysfunctional Family Behaviors<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Making Bitingly Critical Comments<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Giving You the Silent Treatment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Lying and Denying<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Generalizing During an Argument<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Pitting Relatives Against Each Other<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Deflecting<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Causing You to Feel Guilty About Feeling Bad<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Employing Threats, Vile Language, Isolating Tactics, or Physical Violence<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Gaslighting<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Failing to Respect Boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Can Dysfunctional Familial Behaviors Create a Cycle?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Tips for Handling Your Family Relationships and Reducing Stress<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Develop Healthy Communication Habits<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Be Familiar with Stressors<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Be True to Yourself<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Spend Quality Time Together<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Practice Mindfulness<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Seek Social Support<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Focus on Things Within Your Control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Own Your Feelings and Accept Others\u2019 Emotions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Sleep More<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Get Professional Help<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nFrequently Asked Questions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n