Experiencing romantic feelings and emotions is a beautiful part of the human experience, but how can you tell the difference between love and infatuation? Understanding the power of these emotions and how to differentiate between them might help you avoid serious heartbreak or embarrassment when searching for your soulmate. Both emotions make us feel excited, happy, and even hopeful. Love is deep, but infatuation is more superficial and based on physical appearance and excitement. For your well-being, it\u2019s important to reflect on your emotions and correctly identify them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To help you out, we’ll cover some of the easiest ways to tell the difference between love and infatuation. We’ve included advice for when you find yourself (or someone you know) trying to figure out your feelings for someone else. Plus, we\u2019ll explore whether or not feelings of infatuation are bad. If you\u2019re looking for that love story you\u2019ve seen in the movies, remember that those are fictional stories. Now let’s talk about our feelings!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if you can’t tell the difference between love and infatuation yet, quality time together is still one of the most important things you can do to keep your relationship healthy. If you need ideas for some new experiences together, grab a copy of Adventures From Scratch: Date Edition<\/em><\/a>! Our book is filled with dozens of engaging activities. Just select a scratch-off adventure, commit to completing it, and start making incredible memories together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love has substance and depth, so it\u2019s more than just a feeling. It\u2019s a set of behaviors and emotions that circle around commitment, intimacy, and trust. Love has many layers and takes time to develop. You\u2019re making a decision to put someone else\u2019s needs before your own. The intensity can change over time and covers a range of feelings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Love is influenced by biology and culture. Hormones do<\/em> play a role, but so much else influences who we love as well. It\u2019s one of the most important emotions that humans experience, and it evolves so much in its life cycle. Most of the feelings are positive, like comfort, excitement, happiness, and euphoria, but love can also result in jealousy, heartbreak, and stress. It\u2019s much deeper than just initial physical attraction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Infatuation is a strong feeling of attraction and fixation. Romantic comedies make \u201clove at first sight\u201d such a romantic concept, but really, it\u2019s just infatuation. This intense emotion is based more on the physical attraction and surface-level understanding of who this person is. If you\u2019re feeling infatuation, you’re attracted to someone you don\u2019t know very well and likely have fantasies about who this person is. It\u2019s not a deep emotion, but it can be very strong. You\u2019ll be thinking about this person all the time and become obsessed with the idea of being with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n People who are infatuated with someone will use some of the cliche terms, like the \u201cperfect match\u201d or \u201cideal partner.\u201d In reality, they don\u2019t know the person well enough to really say that. It\u2019s easy to get distracted by physical attraction, but that can blind people from seeing some of the red flags and signs that the feelings could be problematic. It also boils down to the excitement of the chase. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Infatuation can be extremely selfish. You\u2019ll get a rush of good feelings in the moment when you fantasize about the other person or get moments of attention. But in reality, the fantasy you\u2019re creating will be impossible for the person to ever live up to. If you aren\u2019t willing to compromise, there will be no chance of a future with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t worry, though. When it comes to love vs. infatuation, there are some clear signs to look for. Give yourself time to process things, and be honest about what you’re feeling. Consider these pieces of advice, and ask yourself some of the tough questions about what you\u2019re really going through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are physical signs of infatuation and physical signs of love if you just pay close enough attention. Biology plays a role in these emotions thanks to the hormones and neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin<\/a>. Physical attraction is real and can give you the feeling of falling head over heels, but that\u2019s likely infatuation. Yes, the hormones make us feel incredible, but it\u2019s just a chemical high. This will reduce in intensity. Love takes time and involves getting to know the other person and making a commitment to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those feelings of longing, anticipation, and heightened arousal are physical signs of infatuation. You might find yourself giggling more and acting differently than you normally do. These signs can also be associated with love, but you\u2019ll be more content and comfortable. You\u2019ll feel more like yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You might believe it was love at first sight, but it\u2019s very common for people to be blinded in new relationships. Physical attraction is powerful and can make it hard to recognize red flags or warning signs<\/a> the first time you spend time with someone. People will reveal themselves to you, but if you’re infatuated, you might find yourself brushing aside those warning signs and not listening to them. It\u2019s important for you to keep your eyes open\u2014red flags can cause a lot of hurt and discomfort down the road. <\/p>\n\n\n\n No one is perfect. As humans, we learn to accept each other\u2019s flaws because we all have them. Love is all about accepting those flaws and who the other person is. Infatuation often deals with idealization. If you are infatuated with someone, you view them as perfect and don\u2019t see them for who they really are. There\u2019s more fantasizing and filling in the gaps with your own version of who they are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It goes the other way around, too. If you’re experiencing infatuation, you might be concerned with impressing the other person and coming off as perfect to them. It can cause you to be someone you aren\u2019t just to make a good impression. But that won\u2019t lead to a long, healthy relationship\u2014you need to be real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pay attention to your feelings. What are you feeling when you’re around the other person? Is it a deep feeling of affection and care, or is it a more superficial feeling of attraction? Both infatuation and love can be intense emotions, but if you step back and look for an actual emotional connection, you\u2019ll be able to recognize love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Self-awareness is important for your mental health. Work toward being able to look at situations and ask yourself if there is a possibility of building a deeper connection or if everything is superficial. Do you actually know things about this person, or is all of your information from social media and things you\u2019ve learned from mutual friends? Real feelings of love will help you open up to each other, and the relationship will feel more equal and mutually reciprocated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Infatuation is often accompanied by a feeling of craving the other person. You become obsessed with impressing them and getting their attention. With love and healthy relationships, you\u2019ll feel satisfaction instead of craving. True love won\u2019t leave you yearning for more because it\u2019s about partnership and building deeper connections. Ultimately, it will be more fulfilling and encourage healthy behaviors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you find yourself pining over someone and obsessing about their every movement, you are likely dealing with infatuation. Obsessive behaviors can be destructive and unhealthy, so it\u2019s important to recognize those behaviors if they start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Intense feelings can be confusing, and it\u2019s easy to see why many people mix up infatuation with love. Before you say, \u201cI love you\u201d to someone, figure out how deep your strong feelings actually go. Love means not holding back any piece of yourself and being ready to share the good and the bad. Infatuation focuses more on the way we look, dress, and behave. Love goes so much deeper than what you can see on the outside. It\u2019s about acceptance and commitment. You learn about each other and share a deeper side of yourselves that most people don\u2019t get to see. Do you feel like you’re ready for that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love will have you thinking about long-term commitments and goals together. What are you looking for in a relationship? If you’re thinking about being committed to the person for a long time and planning your future together, you’re probably in love. Infatuation is more about the moment and having a fun, exciting fling. Infatuation can also have you planning and fantasizing about what your future could look like with this person, but it\u2019s not a conversation that you\u2019re having together. Daydreaming about what your children might look like or envisioning yourself on a tropical beach with this person is one thing, but sitting down and having serious conversations with them about your relationship is what real love looks like. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you find yourself thinking about the future but aren’t comfortable speaking with the person you have feelings for, that should be a red flag itself. It’s important to plan together and compromise on your vision instead of just making up dream scenarios in your head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes, it\u2019s really hard to recognize the difference between love and infatuation when you’re having new feelings. It\u2019s always a good idea to talk to someone you trust. If you’re still not sure how you feel, talk to your best friend, family member, loved one, or therapist. They can help you understand your feelings and make a decision about your future. They’re able to recognize strange new behaviors in you because they know you. Confide in those who know you, and tell them you\u2019re unsure about your feelings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve worked through all the pieces of advice above and are still unsure whether you are in love or infatuated, the best thing to do is take some time for yourself. Think about what you really want in a relationship. Taking time away from the person can help you organize your feelings and see things more clearly. Many people who are infatuated spend so much concentrated time with the person, and when they aren\u2019t together, they’re obsessing over them. By stepping back, you\u2019ll be able to give yourself some space to figure out what you might be missing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Infatuation isn\u2019t always a negative. It can often be the beginning of a beautiful love story. It\u2019s just important for people to recognize the difference between love and infatuation when starting romantic relationships. Having a relationship based only on infatuation may lead to heartbreak and disappointment. Instead, take the physical attraction and work to see if there\u2019s something deeper that you can build off of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Extreme infatuation can be unhealthy. The behaviors of someone who is infatuated with someone else can be concerning. It can become an obsession, and people may completely alter or hide parts of themselves to appear \u201cperfect\u201d to the person they are interested in. It\u2019s not good for your mental health to crave someone\u2019s attention. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Infatuation can turn into real romantic love. Many times, the object of your infatuation will not reciprocate your feelings. Sometimes, you’ll leave the infatuation stage and see the signs that you might have missed during the \u201choneymoon phase.\u201d For feelings of infatuation to become a special and requited love, you\u2019ll need to be able to put aside the fantasy you created, accept the faults and imperfections of the person, and be willing to be vulnerable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Many love stories begin with infatuation because that initial attraction brings people together. But love is so much more than physical attraction, so there needs to be a deeper connection between two people for love to form. It isn\u2019t instant. <\/p>\n\n\n\n On the other hand, infatuation doesn\u2019t happen for everyone. Many relationships grow slowly, starting with a friendship and building from that. You can absolutely have love without experiencing infatuation, just like you can experience infatuation without ever falling in love with that person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Infatuation can be present in the beginning stages of falling in love, but it should be a feeling that comes and goes quickly. Once a connection begins to form, it\u2019s important to build a strong foundation of honesty and trust with each other. Then infatuation can turn into love. Intense feelings built solely on physical attraction and chemistry are normal but should not consume your entire existence. That\u2019s when infatuation becomes unhealthy. Taking space to understand your feelings and talking to those who are close to you are ways to help you stay in check and ensure that your feelings are moving toward love and away from infatuation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These pieces of advice offer you some help when you need to understand the difference between love and infatuation. Hopefully, you\u2019ll find yourself falling in love with the right person and find the mutual respect and admiration that comes with it. Enjoy quality time<\/a> together, and make sure you’re removing any filters and walls you put up to let people get to know exactly who you are and fall in love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The difference between love and infatuation<\/a> can be murky. They’re both intense emotions, but love will feel satisfying and comfortable, whereas infatuation leaves you craving more and a bit on edge.<\/p> <\/div> Everyone knows love differently, but if you’re making plans for the future<\/a> together, that’s a good sign. Loving a person means knowing their faults and loving them regardless.<\/p> <\/div> The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, but spending quality time with your partner and trying new experiences together can help keep things interesting. Adventures From Scratch<\/em><\/a> can help you there.<\/p> <\/div>
\n\n\n\nDepth of Love<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Limits of Infatuation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to Tell The Difference Between Love and Infatuation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Pay attention to the physical signs.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Notice how you engage with warning signs or red flags.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Identify the role of perfection.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Check in with yourself.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Watch for obsessive behaviors.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
See how deep your feelings go.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Are you thinking about the future together or alone?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Talk to your close friends and family.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Step back and reflect.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Healthy and Unhealthy Doses of Infatuation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Infatuation, the Beginning of Love<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nFinal Thoughts on the Difference Between Love and Infatuation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nFrequently Asked Questions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n