Small talk and getting to know people can be tricky for some. If you’re shy or struggle to open up to new people, the idea of going on dates and starting new relationships can be overwhelming. It can also be hard for couples to reach the next level of openness and communication. Conversation prompts can be the answer to all those problems. We’ve put together some helpful tips for communication in relationships, both new and old, and a long list of different conversation topics and starters that can make your dinner dates a little more interesting and help you learn even more about each other.
Let this list help you lead some interesting and thought-provoking (or some downright silly) conversations on your next date night. Add a little fun and spark while learning more about each other, even if you’ve been together for years.
Let Adventures From Scratch help you start conversations!
Whether you are new loves or lifelong partners, coming up with conversation ideas can be challenging. Luckily, Adventures From Scratch is packed with ideas! From over 50 activities you can share and talk about, to conversation prompts you can use while snuggled up on the couch, you’re sure to find interactive elements that deepen your connection and improve your communication. Grab your copy of this scratch-off adventure book today!
How to Improve the Conversations in Your Relationship
Let’s start with a few tips if you believe your relationship is struggling a bit with communication or you feel like you need something new to talk about when you’re together.
Set aside time for meaningful conversations.
Sometimes our habits and routines get in the way of our progress and forward momentum in relationships and other areas in life. It’s important to make dedicated time for your partner. Don’t just rely on the moments where you pass each other in the kitchen, schedule date nights, coffee dates, or just spend some time walking together and sharing about your days.
Communication is such an important part of any human relationship, so you need to make sure it’s a priority. Having dedicated time to focus on each other and share things can help bring you closer together no matter what stage of your relationship you’re in.
If you feel like you’re in a bit of a rut and struggling to connect with each other, change up your routine or the scenery. For new couples, there are new date locations and scenarios popping up all the time, but once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, things can feel a little redundant. Shake it up.
Practice active listening.
Part of strong communication skills is active listening. We’ve all talked to someone who just wasn’t really giving us their full attention and doing a lot of nodding and looking around while we were sharing something with them. Don’t be that person for your partner. Work on your active listening skills to help ensure that you are present and giving them your attention.
Active listening means you are paying attention to what the other person is saying, asking questions, making eye contact, taking in body language and non-verbal cues, and really processing the information that they are sharing with you. Make sure you’re spending equal amounts of time listening and speaking. You will learn so much more from each encounter when you are focused and not trying to multitask or let your mind wander to other things.
Be open and transparent.
From your first date on, it’s important that you are open and honest with the person you are with. That doesn’t mean you need to share all your deepest, darkest secrets on day one, but you should open up and be a little vulnerable. Allow people in and share things about yourself with them and they will feel more comfortable doing the same.
Advice columns warn against discussing certain topics at the beginning of a new relationship, but if there are things that are important to you, there’s no bad time to bring them up. Take religion for example. If you are very religious and looking for a person who aligns with you on those spiritual beliefs, don’t wait until you’ve been dating someone for weeks and have put so much time and energy into creating a bond. It’s up to you when you feel comfortable sharing, but the sooner you get any of your non-negotiables out of the way, the better.
Try using some of these great conversation starters!
If you find yourselves faced with long pauses or feeling like you’ve run out of things to talk about, don’t worry. We’ve put together this entire list of conversation prompts for couples. These can help you learn more about each other and maybe discover some topics that you haven’t chatted about yet.
Conversation prompts can help get the conversation going and they can be really fun on road trips, coffee dates, or anytime you are spending time together. Pick a random question and give each other a few minutes to think about it and then spend some time diving into your answers. Our list ranges from first-date questions to things you probably wouldn’t share unless you were in a committed relationship.
Conversation Prompts for Couples
The list of conversation topics is broken down into the simple ice breakers that are good when you first meet someone, funny topics to help lighten the mood, slightly tougher and more thought-provoking topics that are good to revisit, and deep conversations and questions that you’ll probably need to address at some point. Obviously, some are interchangeable between different categories, but you’ll find something fun and appropriate for the moment.
“Get To Know Each Other” Conversation Prompts
These are the basic questions and things that won’t get too deep. They are meant to learn a little more about someone’s likes and dislikes and how they spend their time. These are great for the first few dates or even to revisit as you grow together.
1. What is the most recent TV show you’ve finished? Have you binged anything lately on Netflix? Compare your thoughts on popular shows that you’ve both watched.
2. Think of your favorite restaurant, why do you love it so much? Do you have favorites depending on the type of cuisine or is there something else that puts it on top of your list? What are your favorite foods that you like to try at different restaurants?
3. What is your favorite thing about your current job? Talking about work can be boring, but it’s a large portion of how people spend their time, so it’s good to share the positives about it.
4. How do you practice self-care? See if there are any activities you can do together or new things to try. Learning more about this can give some insight into how a person feels about themselves and taking time for wellness.
5. What is your favorite movie from childhood? Do you remember seeing any in the theater? Share the movies that impacted you the most growing up and why. Maybe you have the same taste in movie theater candy or the same favorite Disney villain.
6. What TV show can you watch over and over? Is there a character you relate to the most or a favorite moment from the show that brings you joy?
7. How do you spend the majority of your free time? Do you have any creative talents or skills? Are you part of any leagues or fun regular activities?
8. Do you enjoy exercise? What types do you want to do more of and which types of workouts do you hate? Are there any big goals you have, like running a half marathon or climbing a certain mountain?
9. What is your dream pet? Do you have a name picked out already? What if there were no restrictions on the types of animals where you live? Describe some of your favorite pets that you’ve had during your lifetime.
10. Make a list of your top three favorite songs or share your Spotify “most played” list. Have you seen any of the songs live in concert? Who is your favorite artist or band?
11. What trend or popular item from the past would you like to make a comeback? They say everything circles back around, so share which items you want to see on people and in your life again. Is there a decade you love the styles from the most?
12. Which are your favorite sports teams? Are there any sports you follow regularly? Any bucket list stadiums or live events you’d like to see? What is the coolest sports moment you’ve ever witnessed?
13. If you could land your dream job, what would it be? Is it the same as the job you wanted as a kid? Do you think it would be something you could work towards or is it completely out of reach for whatever reason?
14. Are there any podcasts you listen to regularly? Are you more into true crime, news, or pop culture stories? If you had to start your own podcast, what you would talk about?
15. What is your favorite book to read over and over? Do you prefer hard copies of books, e-readers, or audiobooks? Would you rather own a book or borrow it from the library?
Funny Conversation Prompts
When you’re ready to get a little weird and laugh a bit, you can try any of these lighthearted topics. Hopefully, you’ll have some funny and memorable answers to share and it can help loosen you both up a little bit.
16. What was your weirdest first date experience? Did you date in high school? If you don’t have an awkward or bad first date, imagine a fake scenario of what a nightmare date would look like to you.
17. If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would you choose? What if you could only shop at one clothing store? What about being able to wear only one color for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
18. Would you rather have the superpower of x-ray vision or the ability to fly? Is there a different superpower you’d prefer? What if you could have the powers of one famous superhero from the movies—who would you pick?
19. What is the worst thing you’ve ever smelled? What about the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted? This one might require a bit more thinking and it might not be the best discussion over a meal.
20. Share the last time you were embarrassed in public and what happened. Are you the type of person who runs away blushing or laughs with everyone in the moment?
21. If you could create an alter ego (like Beyonce’s “Sasha Fierce”), what would you name them, and what would they be like?
22. What are the funniest social media accounts you follow? Are there any that you’re a little ashamed of? Have you ever “hate followed” someone, which means you follow them even though everything they post annoys you, but you’re just so curious?
23. Play Instagram roulette where you let the person scroll through your homepage with their eyes closed and when they stop, you tell them about the picture they randomly selected.
24. If you went to a tattoo parlor right now and had to pick out a tattoo for the other person without talking to them first, what would it be and why? Where would you put it? Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
25. What is your favorite pickup line? Have you ever actually used it? Are there any cringy lines you can think of that you’ve heard used in public?
26. If you could build the greatest ice cream sundae of all time, what would you include on it? If ice cream isn’t your thing, imagine any type of dessert dish and describe your ideal scenario.
27. What was your first job? Describe the things you were responsible for. Did you learn any skills that you still utilize today? How did you spend those original paychecks?
28. Would you rather have a bunch of hidden talents you’re afraid to showcase or a bunch of money that you can’t easily access? (“Would You Rather” questions are a really fun way to jumpstart a conversation!)
“Take It To The Next Level” Conversation Topics
Once you’re ready to move past your favorite movies and TV shows and learn a little more about their personality, you can try a few of these conversation prompts. They usually require a little more thought, but can also lead to some meaningful conversations where you start to peel some of the layers back.
29. What do you admire most about your best friend? Do you wish you had more of those qualities?
30. Describe your perfect day in as much detail as possible. Where would you be? With whom? Doing what?
31. What was the last movie or last book that made you cry? Were they happy or sad tears?
32. Which family members are you closest to? Is there something specific that draws you to them more than others?
33. Cast a movie about your life. Who would play you and the people closest to you? What songs would be on the soundtrack? Would you pick just one time period or cover everything?
34. If you could take a gap year now (or test-drive retirement), what would you spend the year doing? Would you go backpacking and take a lot of adventures or spend the year relaxing and exploring more of your hobbies and spending time near home?
35. What is your least favorite thing about the city you currently live in? Is there anywhere you hope to move to someday? What’s holding you back from moving now?
36. What destinations are on your travel bucket list? If you could plan your next vacation with two weeks and unlimited funds, where would you go?
37. Do you set New Year’s resolutions and what kinds are you drawn towards?
38. Who is your role model in real life? What about someone famous that you’ve never met? Is there anyone who has passed that you wish you could have met?
39. What activities did you love as a child that you no longer enjoy doing? Are there any hobbies that you did as a child at you still enjoy just as much now?
40. Is there someone in your life you wish you could apologize to? What’s stopping you from doing that now?
41. How would you spend your money if you won the lottery? Is there something you’d splurge on right away? Would you give any money to your friends or family? Is there a cause that you would immediately donate to?
42. Do you know where your ancestors are from in the world? Do you think it has any impact on how you are as a person today? Are there any aspects of your genetic makeup that you’d like to learn more about? Does your family have any special traditions that you love?
Deep Conversation Starters
After you’ve gotten to know someone well, you can really dig deep into topics that are hard to talk about sometimes. But it’s important to open up, share things with one another, and help each other grow. These are the toughest to answer and require the most depth in the response.
43. When was the first time you fell in love? What does falling in love mean for you? Describe the moment that you felt it for the first time (with the person you’re with or someone else).
44. What is your biggest regret in life? What would you have done differently? What did that moment or event teach you?
45. Describe your perfect wedding. If you’re already married, what would you change now about your wedding day?
46. Is there a political leader that you really respect and follow? Have they helped to change your mind about anything? Have you changed your perspective as an adult?
47. Are you selfish? Do you think that there are appropriate times to be selfish? Share a little about a moment when you were selfish and how that helped or hurt the situation.
48. Where do you see yourself next year? In five years? In ten years? Do you have a plan for the future or are you more impulsive and just go with the flow?
49. Do you wish to be a parent someday? What kind of parent do you want to be?
50. Is there anything you wish you could change about how you were raised? What do you think that would be like?
51. Deep dive into love languages. What are yours? Do you know your partners? How can you cater a little more to their preferred method of connection and love?
52. What do you find most attractive about your partner? What about yourself? When you share these, talk about the differences in your answers. Your partner might list some things about you that you’ve never really noticed or considered. How does that change the way you view yourself?
Get ready to build deeper connections with your partner!
Dates and intimate conversations with a romantic partner are so much different than the silly ice breakers and small talk at networking events. You aren’t sharing your resume and work accomplishments, you’re working hard to get to know each other. A good conversation starter can help ease you into topics that might have been hard to work into the discussion otherwise. Use these 52 ideas to help you learn more about each other and yourselves and have fun along the way.
Need more date night inspiration? Check out these 25 couples’ activities and games! We’ve also got Fun and Flirty At-Home Dinner Date Ideas to get you cooking together and enjoying some quality time in the comforts of your home. And don’t forget to check out Adventures From Scratch: Date Edition for more conversation prompts and date suggestions.
Frequently Asked Questions
First dates are all about getting to know some of the basics about your date and having fun together. Use some simple conversation prompts to help you ask unique and interesting questions.
Be sure that you and your partner are on the same page about big life decisions. “Do you want children?” “Where do you see yourself settling down?” Turn to deep conversation prompts to find out more about each other and test your compatibility.
To help keep your relationship fresh, change up your dating routines. Try restaurants you’ve never been to, new activities, and interesting conversation prompts. If you need ideas, grab a copy of the Adventures From Scratch: Date Edition!